January 2012
1 post
Drunk History: The South Pole
Drunnnk History: The South Pole
People around McMurdo recreating the 100 year anniversary of Scott and Amundsen, and even Road Dahl, reaching the South Pole. It’s what happens when you have a drunk storyteller.
September 2011
1 post
Anti-rachnophobia
It’s just something I haven’t thought about. There are times that I have been asked to clean some nooks and crannies of the Galley that have not seen the light of day or a disinfectant since Sir Robert Scott threw away his food waste of pemmican and penguin.
Beneath the rim of trash cans in the front of the Galley or in the far corners of the pot room there are layers of Mesozoic era...
August 2011
4 posts
????????????
Do you live in an igloo? Have you seen any bears? Have you lost a finger and/or toe to frostbite? Is it cold? What is your favorite bear: The polar or the grizzly? Are there UFOs? When you walk, does it feel like you’re upside down? Can you take a picture of my Flat Stanley? Is it cold? Is it cold? My dad shoveled our driveway today.
The kids from my nephew’s second grade class sent...
Board of Antarctica
“There’s gnargnarPOWPOW on the mountain. Let’s straightline that bitch.”
“Whoa. Don’t get aggro. Colorado type powpow or Utah powpow? I’ve snowboarded everywhere and Utah powpow is da sick shit.”
“After shredding let’s down some PBR.
“Ah-Ight.”
Do you know the difference between a snowboarder and God? God doesn’t think he’s a...
Antarctica Math and History
As best I can calculate each person in McMurdo uses seven utensils for every meal. The combinations of utensils would best be calculated using the fluctuating factorial “N.” Most commonly it’s described as plate, spoon, fork, knife, cup, tray, and bowl. However, for each person who doesn’t use a fork, knife or spoon (and there are many, because manners are not Antarctic prerequisites), their...
3 tags
Make and Fake
On the surface, washing dishes seems pretty straightforward. If you see a dirty plate, cup, bowl or spoon, you wash it. When you look around the dish room and every piece of silver, flat or cookware is clean, then you go home. It’s not that easy in Antarctica, this is why we have to have meetings twice a day to go over our dish duties. There is not a single person down here excited to be a...
July 2011
4 posts
Talk to the Hand
There aren’t movie theaters or restaurants in McMurdo. Because of the International Dateline, Sunday NFL play-off games are played here on Monday afternoons when we are at work. Removed from society, we have to reinvent our “norms” and entertainment.
On Saturday nights, men dress up as women, for fashion women shave their heads and men have mustache or beard growing competitions....
Oh Shit. My job stinks?
Nichol’s job is to chip away at shit leaking out of a drain. Because she lives in Antarctica, this shit is frozen. It’s like chipping brown diamonds. Diamonds covered in corn. Diamonds covered in peanuts. Twenty-four carrots and two pieces of potatoes are in this shit. This shit is hard.
There has been a leak in one of the sewer pipes and the stuff that comes out of us is now leaking...
The Ice Have It
Maybe there is something to global warming, today we ran out of ice in Antarctica. At first I thought my boss was sending me on a Snipe Hunt when she said, “We need you to find some ice.” But she was telling the truth. I immediately regretted saying, “How about opening the fucking door?”
In what might seem like the least used piece of equipment in Antarctica, there are actually...
Once There Was a Way to Get Back Home
Once there was a time that being a Dishwasher or DA in Antarctica was a gateway job to bigger and more exciting adventures—like moving up the ladder to being a Janitor. Now, however, the HR department actually reads our resumes and we can only get hired for jobs we are “qualified” to do. I applied for lots of job in order to return to McMurdo this year, however, my lot in life...